Comic #2085: 2011-01-28

Description

Here’s a transcription of the text from the comic:

Panel 1: "It's called a 'club.' By swinging it, I can deposit a large amount of energy into another man's body, randomizing the affected area, thereby acquiring his woman."

Panel 2: "It's called a 'spear.' The sharp end lowers the energy barrier to a metal body, so I can randomize a selected area of another man's body, thereby acquiring his food."

Panel 3: "It's called a 'bow and arrow.' By using the spring potential of wood, I can deposit energy into this miniature spear, which randomizes a selected area of another man's body, thereby acquiring his land."

Panel 4: "It's called a 'gun.' By transferring the chemical energy in saltpeter to a metal ball, I can cause it to move through the air, then deposit leftover energy into another man's body, randomizing that area, thereby acquiring his status."

Panel 5: "It's called a 'fusion bomb.' By transferring the mass defect energy of hydrogen fusion to the surrounding area, I can randomize the entire bodies of everyone present, thereby acquiring their government."

Panel 6: "It's called an 'antimatter bomb.' By converting matter and antimatter into pure energy, I can randomize an entire planet, thereby acquiring the solar system."

Panel 7: "It's called a 'gravity multiplier.' By altering graviton interaction, I can collapse reality into a single high energy point, randomizing everything, thereby—"

Panel 8: 13.75 billion years later…

"And we call it 'the Big Bang.'"

This transcription captures the text as it appears in the comic panels.