Comic #2075: 2011-01-18

Description

Here's the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Alien 1: "YOU'RE THE FIRST TO BREED HUMANS IN CAPTIVITY! WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?"
Alien 2: "IT'S SIMPLE!"

Panel 2: Alien 2: "THE FEMALE MUST BE CONVINCED THAT THE MALE IS WORTHY OF HER RESPECT AND TRUST. SO, WE WRITE LETTERS FOR THE MALE."
Letter: "I feel vulnerable now that I told you an embarrassing episode from my teenage years. Let me proceed to a joke, and then to discussing my love for my female family members.
Sincerely,
Human Male"
Human Female: "Awww…"

Panel 3: Alien 2: "THE MALE MUST BE CONVINCED THAT THE FEMALE HAS BOOBIES. THIS IS ACCOMPLISHED THROUGH THE USE OF PHOTONS."

Panel 4: Alien 2: "ONCE THE BABY IS BORN, IT IS JUST A MATTER OF KEEPING THE HUMANS FROM KILLING IT. SO, WE USE RELATIVITY TO AGE THE CHILD 3 YEARS, WHICH DROPS THE MURDER RATE BY 98%."

Panel 5: Alien 1: "EXCELLENT! HOW GOES THE BONOBO CHIMP BREEDING?"
Alien 2: "UGH… THEY HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER."