Comic #2026: 2010-11-30

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Description

Here’s the transcription of the comic text:

Character: Oh, hi kids! I’m Uncomfortable Truthasaurus!

Character: I understand that after school specials have lied to you about basic life facts.

Character: So, before you enter high school, I want to correct some misconceptions you may have about how things work.

Text Box: Misconception: Everyone has a special talent.

Character: Truth: This guy who works all day has 17 special talents.

Character: This guy who thinks he’s mainly good at misquoting Byron.

Text Box: Misconception: Goofy-looking a-social people are smart.

Character: Truth: "Goofy-looking a-social" describes your average Ren Faire carnie; Feynman was attractive, charismatic, and a Nobel laureate; height correlates with I.Q.

Text Box: Misconception: Opposites attract or like attracts like. Yeah, somehow you get both of these.

Character: Truth: 95% of people want someone hot. 100% of people just want anyone with a higher social status.

Character: Welp, that’s all for now, kids! And, remember, romance is transactional; the destination is more important than your journey, and your actions sometimes reflect a subconscious bigotry you’ll never admit to.

Banner: UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHASAURUS!